Looking back at my 2014, I have many different emotions that run through my head. This year wasn't like any year I've ever had before. 2014 was by far one of the hardest years of my life, but has given me many experiences that I will cherish and learn from for the rest of my life. In the beginning of 2014, I started by first semester at North Park University. I had to make the transfer of schools due to my medical problems, so from the beginning of my year, my life was based around my disease. Even though I was very hesitant about going to a new school, mid year, and not knowing a single person there… I now look back and realize that it was one of the best spontaneous decisions I have made. Not only was a closer to home and my doctors, but I also focused on school a lot more and ended up with very good grades both semesters. My first semester at NPU, I didn't like it or appreciate it as much as I do now. I didn't like going out or leaving my room because once again, I was very sick, always tired and liked to spend my weekends at home. I think I went home almost every weekend my first semester there. I was living in a dorm room (once again) by myself where I met one of my best friends, Sondra. Ever since we've met we instantly clicked and we are now roommates and will be for the next few years. She was such a blessing to have my first semester there because we were so much alike.
Once summer hit, I was so happy to once again be working at my summer job, Independence Grove Forest Preserve. That was my 3rd year working there and I LOVE IT! It honestly is one of the best jobs around. I started working the day after I got home from school. I also began taking my summer Microbiology class because I wanted to get ahead so I didn't have to pile too many classes on top of each other for my fall semester. I was very stressed in the beginning of summer because I would work 40 hours a week and usually worked from 10am-6pm and then went straight to my night class that was Monday through Thursday from 6:30pm-9:30pm. It was right after the 4th of July, that I was starting to feel very sick once again. I was then admitted into the hospital for the 3rd time due to my UC. Not only was I upset because I was going into the hospital, but I was so concerned about missing work and school. July 23rd, 2014 was the day that changed my life forever. The day that I finally got my large intestine removed and the day that has given me many challenges I will have to battle for a lifetime. The day I decided to get my surgery was one of the toughest days for me emotionally because I knew things would be different for me from there out. I am so thankful that I found the strength within myself to go ahead with deciding to get the surgery because after two years, I have finally found my happiness again…
For when I am weak, then I am strong
My second semester at NPU has been such a blessing as well. I have continued to meet a great group of friends, and after struggling through a 18 credit hour semester, I was finally accepted into the nursing program where I will continue my dream on being able to help people who struggle with IBD. I know I have posted about this before, but it is something that I constantly think about on a day to day basis… what my disease has taken from me. There were so many times where I had to miss large events (country thunder, going on a ski trip to colorado…) because I was too sick to go. My UC had taken my dream school away from me, The University of Iowa. I loved going to that school and I wasn't ready to leave when I did. I was already on my Sophomore year there and I had been currently living in the Alpha Phi sorority house. Unfortunately, I also was very sick at the time and had to make a change, even though many people wouldn't be able to tell because I was very good at hiding my disease. Not only was I embarrassed to share with others, but I also was scared because I didn't even know much about it still at the time. My UC had at one point completely taken my happiness. I remember two summers ago, laying in the hospital bawling my eyes out not only from the pain, but because I was so depressed from basing every single thing I did off of my terrible disease. I couldn't go anywhere without feeling uncomfortable or scared that I would be stuck in a situation that would leave me without a restroom. I even began pushing people away from me because all I wanted to do was be alone, sitting in my room. Like I always say though, with all of the things that my UC has taken from me, it has also given me things that one cannot get without going through my experiences. It has given a different outlook on life… about how precious life really is and how often we take our health for granted. It has taught me not to stress out about the little things in life and not to worry so much. It has taught me compassion towards others and to never judge someone from the outside, because everyone is going through their own struggles, even if you cannot see it.
Im so happy that 2015 in right around the corner. This year, I won't be having to make so many hospital visits, I won't be depressed because of my disease and I will be finally cured of my UC and DONE with all of my surgeries! After March 6, 2015 (the scheduled day for my third and final surgery!!!!!) everything will finally be back to normal and I will be able to one day look back at this bump in the road and be thankful that I made it through! ~~~
GOODBYE 2014….
CHEERS TO HEALTH AND HAPPINESS IN 2015!
-- JKL
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